Feed on

I have your cat!

Our certified new used cat, Gem, has selected me as her person.  In her previous home the lady of the house was the Beloved.

She’s the cat of my dreams:  skittish, bossy.  At any moment she’s certain she’s starving. She treads heavily on my pillow.  She prefers my husband’s lap.  I approach her slowly, crooning, and she bolts.  Cheerfully tolerates toddlers?

Has a crush on my mother-in-law.  Came with a 7-year-old headless stuffed cow, “Baby”. Wanders the house with Baby in her mouth, wailing.

She’s neurotic and picks at herself.  Is obsessively self-cleaning.  When we first got her in January she had some troubling bald bits but now she’s filled in.  Still obsessively self-cleaning.  She chirps and quacks.

Will glare at me until I massage/chase/feed her.  Light on her feet, except when it’s time for me to get up.  Then she leaps onto the bed and lands on me like a bag of trash.

What’s in that bag?  Empty tea boxes, an orange, a discarded wooden lamp stand.  A melamine bowl.  Staple removers. A corncob. Gem is able to make herself heavy and light, corner-y and soft, all at the same time.  It’s very specific and nothing says, “shall I help you wake up?” like this move.  It’s very different than her “middle of the night let’s cuddle” strategy.

She’s also athletic and beautiful with the softest fur ever.  Has a black belt in relaxation.  Enjoys camping and has her own tent.  Endlessly patient, all things considered. Never leaves the yard.  I’m gonna be sorry I said that.

Your cat is in good hands and now she’s mine, all mine.  Best $10 I ever spent.







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