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I love the learning curve.  I love the part where you fall in love with an idea, then you set out to make it yours.  It’s a process that’s fraught with trial and error.  You have to make mistakes if you want to grow.

But getting to that point–what a nightmare.  I’m a perfectionist and once upon a time, there was something about every reading that made me lay awake at night and worry.  I never worried that the pet was crackerdog (James Herriot, All Creatures Great and Small–read it, it’s funny) or the client needed to hear something difficult or that the pet reading was as much about me as the pet–a phenomenon that’s common to healers.

Well, I would think vaguely, I think I blew it. Something felt “off”, or the reading didn’t resonate with the client, or the pet didn’t improve.   I’d think of all the things I could have said, should have said.

Later, the client would often refer a friend, or come back for more work.  But it was hard for me to relax.  I continued to strive for the perfect reading.

It never happened.  In the meantime though, my work steadily increased by word-of-mouth.

I talked to a friend who’s a talented hairstylist.  A quiet, gentle young woman who banged out remarkable hair with such modesty it was a joy to witness.

One day she’d produced another masterpiece and I asked her how she’d gotten to this point.  Something about arriving at that confident place or feeling the training click in.  She looked surprised and in her humble way she said, “Oh!  I just made so many mistakes.” 

That’s all you got for me?  Mistakes? She’d arrived where she was by bungling it, mucking it up and blowing it.

I met with a therapist friend.  She asked me this:  “why do you need to be perfect?  It’s only interesting while you’re learning.”  She said, “I got so good at therapy I could do it with both hands tied behind me.”  She didn’t linger there–too boring.  She quit.

I began to study at Psychic Horizons, where I learned that’s it’s as normal and common for a clairvoyant to struggle through a reading as it is to have a quick, clear connection.  They have language for it.  They teach you to recognize it, validate it and learn from it.  They teach you that the pet, the client and you always get exactly what you need out of every reading.

Eventually, it stops being an intellectual exercise.  You begin to know that it’s true.

 

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